Cruz

slurp*burp is a new column on cruzteng.com, where I’ll be uploading pics of things I ate and liked. The frequency will very much depend on how often I dine out.

I’m also considering doing thrash*this*trash to feature all the yucky food I had. We’ll see.

A couple of reasons… I now have a better camera on my phone, which makes it a lot easier to capture images of my meals. And I’ve realised how powerful food blogs are, after the Food Blogger with many friends in the correct places vs Restaurant with embarrassingly bad PR skills drama.

However, I’m not positioning myself to be an actual food blogger, so I won’t be doing lengthy reviews on the taste, price, ambience, etc. And I certainly won’t be answering your questions on exact location and opening hours. I’m Cruz Teng, not your online helpdesk. There’s Google. And there’re the real food blogs.

The Garden Slug is a cosy place at Telok Kurau. The pasta and pizza we had was mediocre, but the wagyu beef burger was a real winner. And the chicken wings were good too.

If you happen to drop by, would you please consider tipping the friendly service staff an extra dollar? We only realized that they didn’t include a service charge after we left the place. 10 or 20 of you should be enough to make up for that. Hahaha.

I’m still deeply disturbed from the conversation on Sunday night.

I MUST put things right.

We still have a lot of work to do…

I really don’t know what to say.

My response in green.

People on Twitter reacted swiftly. So I told my friend to look at the replies.

It was only appropriate to re-watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on the flight. I was going to Hokkaidō, Home of Shiroi Koibito!

You see that logo at every turn and every corner.

It isn’t merely a factory ok? It’s like a castle.

Just like how Charlie Bucket loves his chocolates, my life isn’t complete without Shiroi Koibito, and perhaps a pilgrimage to the Park. There was no Willy Wonka by my side. And the Oompa-Loompas were substituted with cute Japanese girls who handed out a complimentary piece of that divine white chocolate biscuit to each visitor.

I don’t dream of inheriting the Park. Can I work there, perhaps? The quality control department needs someone with discerning taste buds like mine! Hahaha. And I promise to be good. I won’t turn into a giant blueberry or get thrown down the rubbish chute by intelligent squirrels.

Just this image alone makes me very very very excited.

Above pic from Wikipedia.

The people behind Shiroi Koibito are brilliant. You put an EXCLUSIVE stamp on your product instantly when you refuse to set up sales counters overseas. Is that why Bengawan Solo declined franchise opportunities despite an insane volume of pandan cakes sold annually?

I’m not a fan of beer, but I am (usually) fascinated with marketing tales. It’s rather interesting to look at the packaging decisions and advertising gimmicks done over the years.

Did you know that Sapporo had a branch right here? That was during the Japanese occupation, when we were renamed Syonan-to.

I didn’t find out why they had a single star in their logo. The bar at the museum was a perfect setting for some communist gathering, in my humble opinion.

I caved on the last day, after repeatedly seeing print and banner ads for a week.

I still prefer my Shiroi Koibito.

I probably should have done some videos of the food, but I was too eager to eat. Blame those gluttony genes.

The first raw fish I ever had was probably salmon sashimi. Very soon, I learnt that salmon sashimi = cheap sashimi, and the Japanese actually eat salmon in other ways. Hello to the expensive TUNA BELLY SASHIMI.

I had been mumbling about the daily crab and salmon intake, when we were finally brought to this BBQ restaurant. KOBE BEEF!

Ah… The tenderness of the beef, the rich texture and taste. I finally understand why people on culinary television shows can gush with so much emotion.

It’s the best beef I ever had. I’m beginning to tear as I’m typing this.

And so, the month long break has finally ended. Can I just say that it’s really good to be back and to see all my fellow DJs today.

I bought something for them and was busy scribbling notes this morning.

Dear Jiafa, thanks for covering WRM!
Dear Chongqing, thanks for covering WRM!
Dear Ivy, eat and get FAT!

Jiahui complained that I didn’t write anything for her, so I signed a little note when she was in the ladies. She discovered it later in the day and texted me.

Then, Weibin made me laugh.

你们这些人，统统给我闭嘴！

Hahahahha

The first railway line in Hokkaidō was built between Sapporo, its capital city, and Otaru, underlining the importance of this port city. Being a strategic port ourselves, we understand that economic progress and infrastructure development is typically faster, as compared to inland regions.

Larger ships were unable to sail in directly, so the famed Otaru Canal was created. Don’t imagine something magnificent. People who are used to seeing bigger things will call the Canal a mere longkang.

The city centre of Otaru is easy to navigate. Shops sell plenty of seafood, and souvenirs for the hordes of Japanese and Russian tourists that stream in every year.

This antique goes for ¥775,000 ¥5,775,000, approximately S$12,500 S$93,000, at the Music Box Museum. There are of course entry level items, some allowing you to choose the music you want. I was tempted to get a carousel music box, but figured it would soon be rendered to a dust collecting device in my room.

We visited a sake factory, where we learnt the history of sake making. The brown ball you see above is a signature décor at all sake producing places. I alighted from the coach after a quick nap and was too groggy to remember the details.

In another corner, you see members of the public coming in, armed with huge water containers. The “Water of Longevity” originates from “the compacted snow in the Daisetsu mountain range”. It’s used for sake brewing, and also made freely available to everyone.

Over at Hokkaido Jingu, we learnt the way to pray. Bow, clap twice, say whatever you want to say, and clap twice to finish. As I stood watching, a few tour mates noticed that I didn’t join in and asked if I am a Christian.

No, I’m not. I believe in anything and everything. The thing is, Hokkaidō is a whopping 5,934 kilometers away from Singapore, and there isn’t even a direct flight. It’ll be rather difficult to return to give thanks, should my wish(es) come true! Hahahaha. Really, that’s the only reason why I refrained from doing anything.

The 16-petal chrysanthemum, a symbol of the Japanese Emperor.

They provide English and Chinese translations. Very thoughtful. And I wonder if they will soon have a box for divination lots in Simplified Chinese to cater to the Mainland market.

I didn’t realize that sunflower planting is actually a form of crop rotation in Hokkaidō. If you had paid enough attention in secondary school Geography, you would know that it’s not advisable to grow the same thing in the same plot of land year after year. But you leave the soil empty, weeds might grow. The answer is sunflowers! They don’t deplete that much nutrients in the soil, and is a perfect way for the land to recover and be ready for farming next year.

Summer was coming to an end, and the chrysanthemums were fast withering. No lavender in sight, but you don’t leave Hokkaidō without buying something that’s lavender-related.

My mum got a lavender pillow. It’s supposed to make you sleep better. And no, I didn’t get this money ripping can of “Lavender Aroma”.

I was actually unfazed by the extraordinary price tags. That comes from watching enough televesion. The slice of honeydew I got off the rack was juicy enough, but was artificially sweet.

These should see some action in a couple of months.

That was really hilarious. The statement came from a young couple who tied the knot a day before departure. They are NOT listeners of my morning show (but know me somehow.) After my identity was verified, I went into hardsell mode.

“你跟我说，你为什么不听《933就是万人迷》？为什么？为什么？”

Right, I gained two additional listeners from this trip. Hahaha. They are pictured below.

“Why are you using their ladder? Got so yao gwee or not?”

Hahaha.

We were at this fruit farm, where we were free to pick any obscene number of cherries we could eat. I have never liked cherries, but oh, I must have devoured about 15 on the spot.

（转发）

一群中国人参加接待了一个由欧洲贵族组成的参访团的活动。他们中的大多数跟王族有亲戚关系，非常有学问和修养，待人彬彬有礼，但他们的修养背后隐藏着一种傲慢。

最后一天聚餐，可能酒喝多了，这些贵族的言谈举止变得比较率性。席间，一位德国贵族站了起来说：你们中国人，怎么属什么猪啊，狗啊，老鼠啊!不像我们，都是金牛座，狮子座，仙女座……真不知你们祖先怎么想的!

众人听了哈哈大笑，还互相碰杯，先前的优雅完全不见了。

这时有一个中国人站了起来，用平和的语气说：”是的，中国人的祖先很实在。我们十二生肖两两相对，六道轮回，体现了我们祖先对我们的期望和要求。”这时，现场气氛慢慢安静了下来，不过，贵族们的脸上还是一幅满不在乎的神情。

中国人说：第一组是老鼠和牛。老鼠代表智慧，牛代表勤奋。智慧和勤奋一定要紧紧结合在一起。如果光有智慧，不勤奋，那就变成小聪明；而光是勤奋，不动脑筋，那就变成愚蠢。这两者一定要结合。这是祖先对我们第一组的期望和要求，也是最重要的一组。

第二组是老虎和兔子。老虎代表勇猛，兔子代表谨慎。勇猛和谨慎一定要紧紧结合在一起才能作到胆大心细。如果勇猛离开了谨慎，就变成了鲁莽，而没了勇猛，就变成了胆怯。这一组也非常重要，所以，中国人看着这些贵族，补上一句：当我们表现出谨慎的时候，千万不要以为中国人没有勇敢的一面。

看着大家陷入沉思，中国人继续说：第三组是龙和蛇，龙代表猛，蛇代表柔韧。所谓刚者易折，太刚了容易折断，但是，如果只有柔的一面就易失去主见，所以，刚柔并济是我们的祖训。

接下来是马和羊，马代表勇往直前，羊代表和顺。如果一个人只顾自己直奔目标，不顾及周围环境，必然会和周围不断磕碰，最后不见得能达到目标。但是，一个人光顾及和顺，他可能连方向都没有了。所以，勇往直前的秉性，一定要和和顺紧紧结合在一起，这是祖先对我们的第四组期望。

再接下来是猴子和鸡。猴子代表灵活，鸡定时打鸣，代表恒定。灵活和恒定一定要紧紧结合在一起。如果你光灵活，没有恒定，再好的政策也得不到收获。一方面具有稳定性，保持整体和谐和秩序，另一方面有能在变通中前进，这才是最根本的要旨。

最后是狗和猪。狗代表忠诚，猪代表随和。如果一个人太忠诚，不懂得随和，就会排斥他人。反过来，一个人太随和，没有忠诚，这个人就失去原则。无论是对一个民族的忠诚，还是对自己理想的忠诚，一定要与随和紧紧结合在一起，这样才容易保持内心深处的平衡。

解释完毕，中国人说：最后，我很想知道你们的宝瓶座，射手座等星座体现了你们祖先对你们的哪些期望和要求?希望赐教。

这些贵族们很长时间都没有说话，全场鸦雀无声。

時間過得真快。

也太快了吧。哈哈。

8月23日，重回全國收聽率最高的《933就是萬人迷》。

有一些新的節目環節，一些新的製作，還要在九月份熱烈慶祝咱們的五週年。這五年的回憶屬於《萬人迷》的全體主持群，還有每天在上班上學、搭車堵車時聽《萬人迷》的你。

那天算了一下（－都說放假很有空了），8月27日星期五，是《萬人迷》第1,300期的播出！咱們這節目，就是933最長壽節目的第三名了。WOOHOO！（前兩名應該是《醉心龍虎榜》和《弦歌寄憶》。那樣的記錄很難打破… …）

又要早起、又要摸黑到公司、又要因為睡眠不足而臉黑、又要享受困在冰冷錄音室的滋味、又要看你排山倒海的SMS、又要面對最美麗的搭檔、又要播超級無敵好聽的K歌、又要時不時來一首MAMBO舞曲、又要和你倒數星期五、又要和你一起大喊 IT’S FRIDAY！

期待－ing。

Mountainous geography and harsh winters- some of the reasons why the Japanese were reluctant to live in the northern part of their country. Development went ahead, with the assistance of the Americans in the 19th century, and people gradually migrated to this place with cool summers and sub zero winters. It got a little warm last week, which made me quite grouchy. But I would very much like to visit the place again when snow falls.

It took me a few seconds to verify that the correct drink was dispensed from the vending machine. ¥120 in most places. Going by my Personal Worldwide Coca Cola Index, it’s rather steep.

I had salmon and crab every single day, sometimes twice a day. The reality is I don’t fancy crab that much.

Although I’d much prefer to be seated and served, I like buffets sometimes. It’s not because I can gorge myself to death, but rather the fact that I can go crazy with condiments and toppings. That’s my bowl of tofu with way too much bonito flakes, or katsuo.

I’ve read how the Japanese go gaga over a bowl of ramen. There are restaurants which are fully booked a year ahead, and there are some which implement wacky rules. There’s this ramen chef who installed individual cubicles, prohibiting customers from talking to one another. He explained that people would fully appreciate their food only when there are zero distractions.

Sapporo hosted the Winter Olympics in 1972. We popped by Okurayama Jump Stadium, and many of us were grateful that they had an escalator in lieu of a monster staircase.

(Pictures of the ski jump didn’t turn out too well.)

This is 昭和新山, literally a new mountain, nothing to do with Johor Bahru. Showashinzan, a live volcano was formed during an earthquake last century, making it one of the youngest mountains in the world. It is also the first and only privately owned volcano, as it emerged in the middle of some farmland. Eager to turn this into a tourist attraction, they had a bear ranch built at the foot of the mountain.

The cubs are really cute. But I got very disturbed as I walked further in.

These sunbathing bears have got accustomed to apple and cookie throwing visitors. You see them stretching their paws, asking for a quick snack. There were also vending machines in case people want to go on a feeding frenzy.

That’s so sick.

Apart from the pandas which feed on bamboo, and Winnie the Pooh who eats honey or something, bears (to me) are ferocious predators which attack humans. They rule the part of the land they live in, so there was something very perverse and humiliating in having those adult bears begging for food.

I said about a week ago that I didn’t like lakes. I eat my words. Lake Toya 洞爺湖 is beautiful.

There were 20 people in this group. Everyone was excessively punctual. Hahaha. Every single morning, we left the hotel five minutes before the scheduled departure time. No one was late, and no one ever dilly-dallied.

I enjoyed the casual and friendly interaction.

Me: Auntie! We’re going shopping! You want to go?

She had a sullen look when I walked over, but perked up instantly when I said the magic word.

Auntie: Shopping? Here so ulu, where got shopping?

(We were at a onsen resort, away from the city.)

Me: Got! 7-11 is right opposite! You wanna go with us?

Auntie: Chey! You don’t so naughty lah, come and disturb auntie.

Hahahahaha.

This is the majestic Pacific Ocean. There were houses along the coast. Swim across and you’ll reach the United States.