Cruz

盛况空前。砸的钱很多、看的人很多。

状况也很多。

第一次在搞不清楚状况的情况下被推上台。一边说大嘴巴还没有彩排，不能表演。另一边却说大嘴巴十分钟后正式表演。什么跟什么？！我上台到底是‘暖场’还是‘开场’？说完话到底是先下台等待，还是直接请艺人表演？

第一次亲眼目睹歌神发飙。许多资深唱片宣传与媒体人都曾和歌神接触。你／他们都只看过他和蔼的一面，没见过‘神’发火吧。阿妹唱最后第三首歌曲的时候，制作单位叫我standby. 我就这样站了超过半个小时。我是小咖，发不发火才没人理。Fine. 见学友哥缓缓走向舞台，我跟他打招呼。除了那短暂的微笑，歌神基本上就是一脸的不悦。

意想不到的事在几分钟后发生。舞台上的准备工作还在进行，歌神亲自走向台中央问个究竟。香港一票工作人员都睁大了眼睛。随后，有英国籍技术人员上前请歌神回后台。那一刻，我不知道歌神如何回应，我只看到歌神在三米以外的肢体语言带着几许的不满与不耐烦。歌神骂人？（注意：那是问句。谁要是有机会见他，请帮我问一下。）

‘神’为什么会骂人？是他脾气不好？（不会吧⋯⋯脾气不好的话，会有今天？）还是因为当下他没获他应得的尊重？（注意：同样的，那是问句⋯⋯）

第一次被阻止上台。技术故障。我从冷气休息室冲到舞台。不到五秒。顾不了穿高跟鞋的嘉蕙，也还没想到要说些什么。反正就先抓麦克风：“叫他们开我的mic，我上去！”

“不行！你不能上去。导播没说你能上台。你不能随便上台。”身旁的巨乳阿嫂用女王英语说到。

HUH?

就这样，苏打绿很尴尬地看着观众、看着彼此。

主持人不能随意上台，那技术人员也要获得批准才能上去是不是？就让艺人站在那里，一同期待奇迹的出现吗？再折腾了一会儿，终于有人上去把他们带下台。吴青峰的那句FUCK YOU讲得铿锵有力。（我一直再想他为什么不以华语或闽南语说‘干你x’之类的话⋯⋯我猜他是担心那群工作人员听不懂吧⋯⋯）

又过了一会儿，导播通过对讲机允许主持人上台。

我愣了一下。因为我上台后面对的是我职业生涯中从未经历过。“BOOOOOO!退钱！BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO！”

我当然知道观众对事不对人；他们只是在发泄当下的情绪。（又不是我把插头拔掉，你嘘我干嘛？）那一刻，站在台上的人就必须为整个制作单位（暂时）扛下一切。

我认为，我要是能第一时间上台，青峰见到救兵，就不会那么尴尬，之后也不会因为一股怒气而影响表演。突发情况发生，舞台上谁有‘操作正常的麦克风’，谁就最大。我要是能第一时间上台，观众的注意力就会集中在我身上。我瞎掰也好，死撑也好，让艺人台上台下走几回也好，大家都不知道发生什么事，就等着我一下个动作。

罗索一番之后，我的重点是：我要是能第一时间上台，观众就’来不及‘酝酿不满的情绪，我也就不会被几千人嘘了。你知道我当时有多难受、多难堪吗？

当然，以上是我个人的想法。可能在西方，观众不会动不动就嘘人。可能在西方，主持人被嘘没什么大不了。可能是我太小气了，被嘘而已嘛⋯⋯

据说，这系列演出明年将再度举行。谁认识主办单位？新加坡有很多比我优秀的主持人，你们就帮个忙，推荐一下。我想我不太适合主持具国际规格的演出。我和亚洲地区的团队合作就行了。至少在新加坡、马来西亚、上海、台北等地方，从未有人阻止我上台做我该做的事。

谢谢。

Back in school, I was given plastic trophies (sprayed in gold paint) in essay writing competitions and inter-class debates. Then I was fortunate enough to be handed some really heavy glass (?) trophies for my work in Radio.

I have no idea what I stand to win this time. But it doesn’t really matter, does it? Since they’ve already declared me to be one of the top 60 bloggers in the Asia Pacific region. Woah. Are they out of their minds?

I’m delighted and honoured to have www.cruzteng.com being nominated for Best Celebrity Blog in the inaugural Nuffnang Blog Awards.

With the nominations announced yesterday, I suppose there’ll be new visitors from around the region streaming into this site. I’ll have to do a self-introduction, right?

(My regulars can now proceed to do what you are supposed to do- blindly vote for me, no matter how good the other nominees are. Thank you. Hahaha!)

Hi, I’m Cruz Teng. I usually sleep past midnight, but get up by 5.45am to do the morning show on Y.E.S. 93.3FM, Singapore’s number one radio station. I’ve just celebrated my 30th birthday, which in itself is a huge miracle- considering the number of mishaps I’ve encountered. The most memorable saga involved falling into a drain.

Because of my work, I’ve had the chance to travel quite a bit, and my Macbook (with an internet connection) has become the most important thing after my passport, when I’m away. Finally, when I say I’m effectively bilingual, I mean that I can speak a language that’s decent enough for broadcast, and be able to break into unpublishable language when I’m off work.

A regional blog award nomination has never crossed my mind, I write primarily for my listeners and readers in Singapore. Hence, an international audience might not be able to appreciate the the colloquial language and other local slangs. Nonetheless, I would really appreciate your support.

Unless if you’re a fan or friend of Nurul Aini, Hanis Zalikha, Jim Paredes, or Joanne Peh.

(Ok, all you regulars who refresh this site every sixty seconds, come back! If you still haven’t figured out how to vote for me blindly, I’m going to tell you now.)

You can either click to go to the voting page, or access the voting widget on the right hand column of this site.

Meanwhile, you might have noticed that Joanne and I are “representing Singapore” in this regional race.

Hahahaha.

At the same time, there’re several other local bloggers in the region’s top 60.

Jayden gets my vote for Best Original Blog Design, while A Taxi Driver’s Diary and ieat-ishoot-ipost are strong contenders for Best Hidden Gem and Best Food Blog respectively. (Not that I know him personally, but) I doubt Cowboy Caleb would attend such a high profile event, but he deserves Best Entertainment Blog, doesn’t he? Love her or hate her, there’s no denying that Xiaxue should win Most Influential Blog. And if I can do some serious lobbying, the panel should consider mrbrown.com for Region’s Best Blog.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we can make a clean sweep on home ground? Hohoho.

Now in case you have a short memory, you can either click to go to the voting page, or access the voting widget on the right hand column of this site.

You can vote every two hours before 11 Oct 2009. Now you have something to do, apart from all the facebooking, twittering and youtubing at work or in school. Lovely.

Thanks folks!

繼2007年與2008年的STAR新加坡演唱會之後，亞洲天后張惠妹即將在明年呈現全新演出。

《阿密特LIVE 2010》新加坡演唱會售票詳情將在下週公佈！

Driving under the influence of alcohol- yes.

But Christopher Lee didn’t kill anyone that fateful night, did he?

Gosh.

Party Outfit: $_____
Food & Beverage: $_____

Having a great time with friends and family: Priceless.

Chapter Three: The Party was the biggest birthday bash I’ve hosted so far. Home parties, chalet parties, hotel room parties, impromptu parties- been there, done that. I wanted something out of the box for my 30th.

Behind the scenes | Chapter Three EXCO

As mentioned previously, the booking was done three months ago. The actual preparation, however, began only a few weeks before. My closest group of friends were made EXCO members by default. From Décor IC of the past parties, Jan was promoted to chair the committee.

She gave me the shock of my life when she announced that she had a last-minute job assignment on 18.09.09. “Oh no! YOU are in charge! How now?” At the site recce two week ago, I didn’t pay much attention while she was speaking to the nice lady from Turf Club. I could totally count on her to allocate tasks and run the event, I thought. (I would be entertaining, and not be able to do anything, anyway.)

This led to a mad flurry of SOS calls. “Hey, can you help me to xxx xxx? My EXCO Chairman is arriving later than I am, so…” All of them laughed as hard as they could, and agreed immediately. Some of them took leave from work. Just for me.

That Afternoon. Drama As Usual

I was on the phone with Jan most of Friday.

Cruz:
Eh, eh, eh! I just remembered something! Who’s supposed to get the candles huh?

Jan:
Oh ya!

Cruz:
Huh? No fancy candles? Ok lor. Use the boring candles from the cakeshop la.

Jan:
Don’t worry! I’ll call Don to get the candles I promised you!”

Several phone calls later,

Cruz:
I promise this is the last call from me for the day, and this is the last thing I’m asking you to do.

Jan:
Yes?

Cruz:
I’m rushing to Orchard to do my hair and get my altered pants. I don’t have time to queue for 4D!

Jan:
Alamak! Don’t waste the birthday luck! I go!

Birthday Luck?

If there was such a thing as birthday luck, it certainly didn’t come to me.

Three hours to set up, I realised that I had left about half the admission passes (required for entry to Bukit Box, Turf Club) in the office. Thirty minutes after I made a hasty plan to return to the office, I discovered that my security pass was at home. ARGH!

Kitty was then asked to retrieve the passes, which meant Don, who was to fetch her, had to make a major detour.

The big fat joke of it all was that my VIP parking label was in the envelope they were collecting. So while they (and a bunch of guests who got the passes from me earlier) entered for free and parked at designated lots, Cruz Teng, the party host had to pay five bucks and park a hill away. I wouldn’t mind walking on a normal day, but not when I was lugging a suitcase filled with 60 jars of homemade cookies, a photo printer, multiple jazz CDs, and miscellaneous party items.

And with a couple of incidents (not related to the party) that occurred in the morning, I was ready to tear my hair out.

Cruz:
Super bad day so far. Hope yours is good.

Derrick:
Oh no. You should throw salt over your shoulder for good luck! By the way, I’m in bed cos I’m sick again. Bleah.

There you go. Two poor birthday boys (or man/boy if you insist) frowning on their big day.

Cruz:
EXCO! I’ll be late! It’s raining cats and dogs in Orchard! Haiyah! Ok, please look for Jan or Huiyi when you get there.

Don then solemnly told me to cut down on the vulgarities. “It’s your birthday, for goodness sake. The more you cuss, the worse it’s going to get.” Oh really?

Arrival at Bukit Box

I finally entered the party venue at 6pm, an hour after the scheduled set up time. I was pleasantly surprised and mostly relieved that Jan had managed to complete her work, and was the first to arrive. “OMG. I’ve never been happier to see you!”

In case you misunderstand, I wasn’t being hiao.
We were testing the equipment for the Photo Booth.

The rest of my EXCO was nowhere to be seen. They were all travelling on different expressways, and there was a jam on each and every single route leading to the Turf Club. Excellent.

Every cloud has a silver lining though. Mine came in the form of Gillian. She had innocently asked for a ride to the place, and then found herself recruited into the EXCO at the 11th hour. It was very reassuring to have her around. She have years of experience in the entertainment industry; my humble bash was nothing compared to the mega events she did.

‘Doors open at 7pm’

6.30pm, and there were still only the three of us. “Haiyah, don’t worry. If the EXCO is late, it means that everyone else will be late too! And when I say ‘doors open at 7pm’, I assume people are going to show up after 7.30pm.”

I was wrong. By 6.45pm, I began to receive SMSes from my friends, “Sorry, I/we’ll be late. There’s a jam at xxx xxx.” I considered briefly if I should forward the reply to everyone on the guest list, “Take your time! Or take a longer route! Set up not complete! I haven’t changed!”

San Chin, who was away for work, did a remote countdown. “15 minutes to your bash! You must be all dressed up in your new suit! Have fun!” She was horrified to find out what was going on.

Just then, my EXCO appeared. All at once. Yeah!

Shortly after 7pm, How Han was the first guest to arrive. “Uncle ah, you take a seat first hor. I’m not ready! I’ll go get changed now.”

“Where’s my belt?”

“I don’t care if my ear infection isn’t cleared. I’m going to wear my ear stud.”

Ok! Cruz Teng is ready to parrrrrttttyyyyyyy!

to be continued… …

I asked, but it seems that there’s no way I can reject membership to the 30s club. Auto inclusion, they said.

Cruz Teng is 30!

I’ll have to repeat that 30 times before the reality of it all really sinks in.

Cruz Teng is 30!

WOOHOO!

In the last two years, I had gleefully sent birthday greetings that go like this, “Happy 30th! Congrats on the upgrade! Get used to the new club, cos I need you to show me the ropes!” One by one, my friends succumbed to the dark side. And it’s my turn to make the transit.

I tweeted last night that I miss my clubbing stamina and drinking ability. Lost it all when I started to do way too many mahjong marathons. While my drinking ability was mediocre to begin with, I used to bounce up and down non-stop like that bunny in the battery commercial. A sign of aging? I’ll interpret it as a lack of practise. Hohoho.

After throwing up the flaming lamborghini, and other assorted drinks, I was in bed by 3am. I expected myself to wake up for dinner, but I found myself opening my eyes at 6am. Just enough time to wash up for work, if I wanted to cancel my leave. Aging people require less sleep? I’ll take that as a commitment to my morning show. Hahaha.

Fortunately, 18.09 lands on a Friday this year. Mambo on Wednesday and Recovery on Thursday. Perfect.

I’ll be working tomorrow. Since my intrusion on the airwaves when I was 16, I’ve almost never worked on a birthday. But I can’t give up the chance to shout “It’s FRIDAY!”, can I? I’m going to do “It’s FRIDAY, and it’s my BIRTHDAY!” every three minutes. *evil grin

This comes from my classmate, who hails from Malaysia. I’ve been picking up simple Melayu phrases from her. It was necessary if I wanted to penetrate the JB market, she insisted.

For a good part of the second semester, I’ve been saying I wanted to quit school. Or berhenti sekolah. Fearing the loss of such a nice classmate (haha!), she and the others have been cajoling me not to quit. I like this Berhenti sign.

禮拜五是“而立之日”，幾天前先過農曆生日。
和媽媽不在同一個屋簷下，所以特別期待她每一次做的菜。

以後和我在一起的人無需很會煮飯。但每年的農曆七月廿七，一定要捧上一碗豬腰豬肝雞蛋麵線……呵呵。

The last time they went prawning (without me), J and B were squirming when the prawns were caught. They promptly classified the act as cruel and refused to take part in such activities again.

I only had one thing on my mind. YUMMY!

Pictures by HY