Ai Wei’s Blogs

Some random thoughts of the day:
1. Do bald people get dandruff?
2. Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
3. If someone’s peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
4. If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
5. “Cute as a button (nose)” Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Time: 12.45 am
Scenario: on the way home in a merc cab
Cab driver: Malay, little black curls (on the head), bushy eyebrows
Conversation between cab driver and me:

Cabbie: you know you sitting in a MP’s car?
Me: huh?
Cabbie: MP’s car lah…
Me: like how? like he sit before or what?
Cabbie: No lah! MP! MP! M.P.!!!
Me: wa uncle… no understand you leh
Cabbie: M.P. Lah!!! Malay Phua chu kang!!! you wanna call me MP also can, chu chu also can, kang kang also can lah! wahahahahah…
Me: ….. mm… like that one huh..

it was a half hour ride and he went on to elaborate on M.P. for the whole ride.
its a miracle i actually survived the ride.

On a usual bad day, I would feel that i hit the rock bottom.
But then there are days that I feel like there was the rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, and then me.
And all other stuff in my life followed suit and started going downhill ever since.
It feels like i had been falling endlessly in a pitch dark pit for weeks
Ane I haven’t hit the bottom yet.
Terrifying.

I rule the kingdom of procrastination

All procrastinators are my people

As the ruler, I encourage closet procrastinators to step out and join us

Those who had left, will be welcomed back antime they want to

My kingdom is expanding this very minute, while you’re wasting time reading this.

I will be taking over the world in no time.

My mind had been in a state of blank
like this:

This is my state of mind when i was called up and offered a job as a RESUME WRITER for 1 k per month:

WHAT THE *$&#@(?!